Dear 20-Something Self…

Posted on by Pam (Hoover) Forbus

Recently, I was asked for “career advice”.  This is a tough one to answer because what I would tell my 20-something self is different than what I would tell my 40-something self.

So – I thought I would start with my 20-something self by writing her a letter.  (To those of you in a later stage career – try this exercise for yourself.  It’s cathartic!)

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Dear Pam,

1. You CAN have it all – just not all at once. The give and take / the ups and downs are just part of the journey. You will sacrifice for the family and they will sacrifice for you.  It’s a beautiful journey, so enjoy the ride!

2. You are a rock-star. You are way more capable than you give yourself credit for. Don’t waste your time in self-doubt. Your pedigree – or lack of one – makes no material difference to your probability of success. Go for it!

3. Be sure to surround yourself with people who believe in you. IGNORE those who fuel your self-doubt – cut them off. Jealousy and envy show up in very subtle ways – it’s hard to detect, especially in the moment. But “believers” are easy to spot. They see potential in you that you don’t even see.

Finally – your career is a marathon. An Ultra Marathon, so don’t burn out and don’t fret over periods of rest.  See the long play.  You will have three stages in your career – Early, Mid and Late….  Here is some specific advice for each one:

 
a. Early Career: (PLUS: Early marriage, early motherhood)
This is the most difficult stage. IT WILL GET EASIER. But you can make it easier on yourself too. Get help at home, don’t be a martyr, Lean on your spouse. Lean on your kids, hard work didn’t hurt you as a kid – it actually made you stronger. Taking time for YOU is not selfish – a happy rested mom is a better mom. You must ASK for what you need… because people can’t read your mind.

 
b. Mid-Career:
Getting ahead is not purely about the work. It’s about leadership skills, style and the ability to practice high-integrity/savvy politics: Again, you will have to ASK for what you want (promotions, raises, new assignments)… because people can’t read your mind. If the answer is NO, say “OK – for now” then pour “it” on even more. Find out what it will take to get what you want. You can’t do this alone. ASK for feedback – people won’t tell you what you need to hear unless you ask them. When all else fails – consider getting a coach…. and a stylist.

 
c. Late-Career:
You will start to think about your legacy. What do you want to be remembered for? What mark do you want to make. Your legacy only lives on if OTHERS carry it forward. So it’s not about you – it’s about them. How does your mark live on within them? ASK them what THEY need to “own it” because you can’t read their minds.

Ten Lessons That Helped Me Accelerate My Career

Posted on by Pam (Hoover) Forbus

Twenty-Nine years ago, on Monday May 4th, 1987 I started my first “real” job after graduating from college. I wore a cap & gown Friday May 1st, packed a U-Haul on May 2nd and moved back in with may parents on May 3rd so I could afford to live on the small starting salary of an entry level advertising position.

It was one of the most thrilling and memorable moments of my career.  I was one of 6 chosen to start in the mail room at Young & Rubicam among hundreds of applicants.  Like today, the economy was just starting to rebound from a recession and entry level jobs were difficult to land.  I thought I was dreaming when I was called and offered $17K /year starting salary and benefits.

Nearly thirty years later, I have a great perspective about what helped me get to where I am today.  Below is a list of my top ten lessons learned.  I plan to write a blog and share a few stories about each one over the next few months.  They are all important and listed in no particular order:

My Ten Career Acceleration Lessons:

  1. Find your passion(s) and never work a day in your life.
  2. The last 10% makes all the difference.
  3. Surround yourself with believers.
  4. We teach others how to treat us.
  5. What got you here – won’t get you there!
  6. Get a life!
  7. It’s no longer about WHAT you do, it’s about HOW you do it.
  8. You have to look the part – it matters – and it matters more for women than men
  9. Ask for feedback – from your friends and “frenenemies”
  10. You are now one of “Them” (the man)… So own it – and change it!